Farewell

4 years of engineering are finally over
And the damage it has done, well everyday feels like a hangover.

From fake friends who gossip behind your back
To pulling all-nighters like a professional insomniac.

Honing our doodling skills while teachers taught the lessons
Sleeping with our eyes open became nothing short of blessings.

Walking into college with the security checking for id cards
I swear the ones at our college are stricter than prison guards.

Photocopying the notes of our class toppers one week before the test
Cramming it into our heads and then praying for the best.

The last minute learning we get from those friends who teach better than teachers
I don’t know what the rest of us would do without those marvelous creatures.

We are told about the “oh so amazing friends” that we’ll make
Not the ones who take advantage of us till the point we break.

They tell us it’ll be the best years of our lives
They conveniently forget to mention all BS and the sacrifice.

And when it ends, taking pictures with some people who mean nothing to you
Hearing them say “I’ll stay in touch”, like they think that’ll ever be true.

So long, farewell I hate to say goodbye
Okay, I’m kidding, I hope you know that was just a lie.

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Athazagoraphobia

athazagoraphobia

Day after day I feel I’m getting replaced
I thought that in your heart I would always have a place.
What we did, you do with someone else
I used to be the first one to whom your stories you would tell.
I’m holding on but you’re letting me go
I still love and care for you, just thought you should know.
Yes we talk, but it’s not as much as we used to before
Is it something I did or do you just not like hanging out with me anymore?
You’re important to me and  I’m here to stay
But it feels like you’re almost trying to push me away.
You’re my person, my best friend forever
Then why does it seem like our friendship is being severed?
We promised each other that we’d always stay in touch
But it seems like these days you don’t miss me as much.
We can fix this, I believe that with all my heart.
All I know is that from you I never want to part.

Your Duty

Actions misinterpreted and consequences faced
You do not come into this world to put people in their place.

Mistakes happen and lessons are learned
You don’t have the right to judge, the court of life is adjourned.

Bonds break and people get shattered
Stop justifying pain, their feelings matter.

People get mocked at, manipulated and used
You don’t get to put them down even if you are amused.

This world is clearly not a wish granting factory
Stop stepping on the fallen for your satisfactory.

Tragedies are faced and pain is endured
Not everything in life can just be cured.

Horrible things happen, things you can’t justify
Stop thinking it’s an over-reaction, they cannot be simplified.

Talking behind their backs and calling them weak is just so cheap
You don’t know what they’ve been through, so don’t dwell on their lives, so deep.

Rumours and gossips and exaggerations need to meet their end
If you can’t help them then at least stop the drama and quit pretending to be their friend.

Protect yourself from the toxic people, shield your heart
Your duty is to be kind and loving, not to tear people apart.

Fight

Thank you again, life, for proving me right
For astutely pointing out my failures, for showing me that I’m not worth the fight.
Just when I pick myself up, you push me back down
You keep expecting that I’ll come back around.
Is this some sort of punishment? Have I committed a crime?
To deserve so much disappointment, time after time?
I just got better, my faith was restored
You came back to “teach me lessons” and help me to grow
How much more, I ask you, how much more do I need to see my world shake?
I’ve been struggling to get back up, stop this nonsense, give me a break!

Listen to me buddy, here’s what I’ve got to say
All this suffering, all this negativity will soon go away.
I’m praying for you, I want you to come out shining in life
No more failures for you, please, just no more strife.
When you feel alone, attacked and your heart is gripped with fear
Just remember that I’m standing with you, I am right over here.
I know that you’re sad, and right now, no amount of words will console you
But hear me when I say this, believe me, you will get through.
I’ve seen you fall, you were broken, scared and lost
Please don’t give up, you’re a warrior and I will fight with you at any cost.

I know that we become stronger with pain, but why does it feel like it’s always me that life chooses?
I know that I’m not supposed to care about those people who say “There goes the girl who always loses”.
I know that I have people and things in life to be thankful for
But sometimes I can’t think of the positive, even my mind feels sore.
I’m trying to get my mind in order, I’m being objective and trying to understand
I know I have to fight harder although I’m tired; please don’t give up on me, just hold my hand.

Leave Me Alone (I don’t want to be seen)

I dislike living in a world like this:
A world where women take cover even when they step out for a breeze.
I don’t like the many restrictions they put on our style of dressing
After all if the survivors dresses “correctly” would they feel less suffering?!

Leave me alone I don’t want to be seen
Not by those malevolent eyes that show a sick kind of gleam.
I don’t want your love and I don’t need your attention
I just want to go where ever I want to, without your intervention!

This is not just your world, it’s my world too…
Look me in the eyes, not somewhere else you fool!

In the end, I don’t think that we are asking for much
We are all just asking, praying and begging that you just PLEASE GROW UP!

Darkness

A blank stare, a lost look in her eyes
She stood there looking as the days passed by
Zero understanding of what was going on
She didn’t see where in her past, things went so wrong
Why couldn’t I be like everybody else, she thought
Why was she the victim, why did she have to be put on the spot?
She remembered the times she had spent with her friends
All that was gone, this was the end.
She stood on the edge and took a deep breath
She jumped off the building and fell to her death.
Why did she take she have to take such extreme measures, you ask
She tried to be fine, she tried to be strong but was tired of wearing a mask.
Where were her loved ones, and where were her friends?
They didn’t understand her, and didn’t listen when she tried to make amends.
She never meant to drive everyone away
It was depression that took pieces of her everyday.
When you see the symptoms, don’t think that it’s an excuse
Don’t make the same mistake, hold him/her close.
Hold  them close and don’t let them sink down
Pull them out from the darkness and light the way along
.

Worth

No one hates you, you aren’t at war
The world isn’t against you, stop pushing people away so far.
Shit happens but give yourself a chance to heal
You can’t live with so much bitterness, it’s too much to feel.
You may not have all the answers but you can grow and cope
Stop punishing yourself, be kind and don’t give up hope.
Yes, there are days that are hard to face
In this crazy world, you will eventually find your place.
Open the doors of possibilities, let in the light
It is sad that you can’t see the warmth and light you give others that shines so bright.
What is it that you’re trying to prove, that it’s you against the world?
Yes we’re alone but don’t do that with yourself, don’t be so cold.
You are the only one you can rely on, you know that now
You want to be excellent, start by begin your own best friend,then you’ll see how.
How your world will begin to change when you see what you’re worth
Don’t settle for less than what you deserve.

Change

Change. Everyone feels it. Everyone reacts to it in different ways. They say that change is constant. Then how do we not lose ourselves in that change? How can we constantly keep changing according to the circumstances? Are we allowed to just be ourselves for a minutes? Take a deep breath and just remember who we are?

Let me tell you, it is exhausting. When all that seems to happen is the time you take to adjust to the change and the effort you put to not lose yourself it just seems pointless, a wasted attempt.

For example, after years of schooling, you join a professional course. The view there is very different. People from different places, with different thought processes, different cultures and very different ideas. It’s overwhelming. Hundreds of students, all wanting more or less the same goal: Success.

But, we tell ourselves that we can’t all be that good. Thus starts the rat race. Suddenly, everything feels like a competition. A competition to see who is better, a competition to see who knows more. While some people can always take it in their stride (or at least seem to), others might not be able to handle it.

We all fail at something. We can’t be good at everything right? That is our thought process. Now, there are 2 options from here. You either move forward or move downward.

Consider the second option: moving downward. And when I say downward, I mean an endless spiral of negativity. A black hole, more like it. It feeds on you until there’s nothing left or at least you convince yourself that there is nothing left. You try without really any conviction of trying to rise above it, to conquer your fears. But as I’ve mentioned it is a spiral. If you try and you still “fail” you know for sure that your worst fears have been confirmed. You really aren’t good enough and there is nothing you can do to change that. So you try to be like someone else. You think that by doing what they are doing and imitating their styles you can’t possibly go wrong can you? I mean it seems to work out pretty well for them. So you try and when you “fail” again (notice how I said when and not if), you draw your final conclusion: You will always be a “failure”.

This is where you are very wrong. Very wrong. You cannot possibly imitate someone else and expect to be good at it. Only they can be good at being them. So what are you good at, you ask? The answer is so simple. Look around you, you see different people.

The key is acceptance. When you accept that you cannot be somebody else and can only be good at being yourself, you suddenly see a whole different light. When you stop comparing and start getting inspired. You have to realize, that you never really failed. You just thought that you did. You are a true failure only when you stop trying. So stop trying to be someone you are not, as clearly, you will always remain to be a failure at that. Start being yourself. When you do that, everything changes (and this time in a good way). Small improvements at a time, but improvements nevertheless.

Accept that you cannot do everything on your own. Accept that you need help. Accept that you need people and these people can be your friends. When you “fail” instead of choosing the down road, ask for help. Help will always be given to those who ask for it. And similarly when they may need something, you help them. Even they can’t do everything own their own. So ask for help when it is needed and help when you are asked to.

Accept that you have enough good. You don’t have to be “good enough” because that is just a relative term. Use this never being good enough notion to your benefit. Keep improving. Try to be better than what you are. Keep pushing yourself (not too much though).  Eventually you will see that you have become much better than what you started out with.

When you start being yourself, you see how much easier it gets. It becomes effortless because you don’t need effort to be yourself. Now, you have found something that you are good at: being yourself.

Some things don’t have to change, they just need a little tweaking.

The irony of it all is that you deal with change by not entirely changing. It’s the situation that is changing, you just have to go with the flow. Just be yourself, and make those little tweaks based on the change.

Stop reacting to the change, because by the time you spent on reacting to this change, a new one would have come.

The only thing that is constant is change. So just go with it.

Daily Prompt: Carry

 

The first thing that came into my head when I saw the word carry was that each of us, have a baggage that we carry. While some may be light (in another’s perspective), others are so heavy that they hold us down.

We all go through life carrying things.

Some of us carry so much pain and hurt within us that we never seem to get rid of it. Some things are capable of being let go of and others are just carried forward.
It may be a heartbreak that you can’t seem to get over, a trauma you’ve witnessed or something that may have happened that you’re unable to let go of.

The baggage that we carry can either become accumulated over time. Have you repeatedly been told you’re not good enough? Have you constantly been underestimated? Have you been treated for dirt for so long that you’ve started believing that you deserve it?
They can also be due to one significant event. Someone you love just left without an explanation? Someone you trusted with your life betrayed you? Has someone you truly care about just departed?

There are some kinds of shock that we never recover from. You carry them around and they either get lighter or we become stronger with time.

Our emotional cargo builds so quietly and steadily that often, we don’t even notice how heavy our weight is. Day after day, week after week, year after year, it slowly mounts on our backs, our hearts and the recesses of our minds.
We feel the consequences, but don’t know the root of the suffering. The question is, how do we solve this? How do we begin to unload such a burden?

The answer lies within ourselves. We need to introspect.
What keeps you up at night? What is the source of your guilt, your sorrow, your pain or your frustration? Maybe you were wronged by a friend, or maybe, you’re the one who was wrong.

Maybe you lost a loved one, or maybe, you harbor guilt about not being the person you want to be. These are questions only you can answer.

Once we identify the source, we can begin to remove ourselves from its influence. We can pull the weeds from the garden so we can nourish the flowers and fruits of our constructive endeavors.

Be gentle with yourself and take your time to recover. Forgive yourself for whatever you’re holding back on. Free yourself because you deserve freedom from the pain.

“Everyone has baggage, maybe we should help each other carry it.”


via Daily Prompt: Carry

Warrior

Don’t you see how far you’ve come?
Don’t you realize what you’ve become?

You fight against the world and against yourself too
You fight for yourself because there’s no one else to.

You help those around you, the ones who are in need
You don’t care for the rumors that surround you coming from the people with just greed.

You put your sword down before your loved ones, and give them the benefit of the doubt
It’s sad that you don’t feel like you belong because you had no one but yourself to whom you could scream and shout.

You lend a hand to the broken ones, those sadly damaged souls
You’d never step over someone the way people have stepped over you in order to achieve your goals.

You’re dealing with a haunting past and sometimes you’re overcome with grief
Though now there’s a temporary calm after the storm you dare not breathe a sigh of relief.

You’ve fought valiantly, even through all the hurt
You gave shelter to the people you loved and they threw you away like dirt.

You’re no longer a victim, raise your head, you are a survivor
You’ve been fighting since the day you were born, you’re a headstrong warrior.

Warrior