Depression

She was perfectly fine and then came the disaster

She never thought that she would get her happily ever after.

Her mood swings, wrong decisions and uncontrollable rages

Little did she know that she was going through one of her life’s toughest stages.

Her beautiful smile and ringing laughter slowly died

Sadness and confusion overtook her; she cried and she cried.

She couldn’t pull herself together, she no longer had the strength.

Her concentration failed her though she sat for hours together at a length.

Completely frustrated, physically and emotionally drained

She thought that to her loved ones, she was a constant source of pain.

What’s wrong with her you ask, what could have happened you wonder

It’s a condition called depression, she’s not at fault; it isn’t her blunder.

 

Depression is a state of low mood and aversion to activity that can affect a person’s thoughts, behavior, feelings and sense of well-being.

That’s how Wikipedia defines depression.

People think that it is just a state of being sad but it is so much more than that. I don’t think that any amount of explanation could ever describe to a person how it actually is. Books don’t describe the exact feelings you have.

It isn’t just some sadness for no reason, it is a feeling of hopelessness that engulfs you. You feel a monster inside you that has drained your ability to feel anything but despair. Something that makes you unrecognizable to yourself and someone that you never thought you would be. That monster slowly takes away everything that makes you, well you. Not only is the sparkle in your eyes lost, the smile on your face almost gone forever but it is replaced by a blank, dead look in your eyes.

People think that’s it’s as easy as to just come out of it and not be sad anymore. Sometimes they may act as though you have brought it upon yourself. That is a lie. Why would you bring something as horrid as that upon yourself? Why would you want to feel powerless or constantly disappointed? It is a serious medical condition, not something that you’ve made up in your head. It’s like mental cancer, just as serious as it.

It makes you unintentionally distance yourself from people. You even feel like your own friends are leaving you. You feel alone and some days you just want to curl up in a corner and become a non-entity. You start having thoughts like “I do not want to live anymore”, “I am useless”, “I am such a disappointment”. And when all the people who you share this information tell you that “It’s going to be okay”, you just want to scream at them to shut up. It is just so easy to say. To distract yourself from this mental hell that you’ve been trapped in, you try to replace it by physical pain. You may resort to physically hurting yourself, thinking that you deserve to be punished.

You even forget about the people who care for you. You think that they will get over losing you eventually. That you are not that important to them anyway. You can feel yourself slowly fading away.

Others may feel that it’s exaggeration but it feels like everything that you’ve ever lived for is gone. There comes a point where you don’t even feel pain anymore, just emptiness.

As much as people under depression tell themselves, they need people. They need their friends. They may need a huge push from their people because they have already given up on themselves. They need you to remind them how they are important to you. Even though it may seem like the person that you knew is lost, they are still deep down there somewhere waiting to be rescued. The only person who can truly help them (besides a doctor) is themselves. But they need someone to just be there for them.

So when you see someone with symptoms like those of depression, listen to them. Be there for them; hold him/her close. Let them know how important they are to you and tell them that you can face it together and that no matter what you’ll always be there for them. Stick to that promise.

They think that they want to die, but in reality they just want to be saved.

Depression is living with a body that fights to live with a mind that wants to die.

“Crying is not a sign of weakness, it just means that you have been strong for way too long.”

Remember, stars can’t shine without darkness.

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